New awesome toy....

My boyfriend bought me this for Valentine's Day:

I admit; the device almost gets more used for it's wi-fi abilities...whoops!

Blog watch '09

I bought some satay mix the other day and I need to make some satay skewers. Or, I might have to go to my fave spot in Studio City and get some.

Laziness.

Orange chicken sounds good too.

I think I just need some protein.

I miss my friends

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

- Oprah Winfrey

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.

- From the movie Annie

A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company.

- George Washington

Misfortune shows those who are not really friends

-Aristotle

The werewithal to have self-realization.

I am a COMPLETE slacker.

After being fed-up with my utter laziness; my boy gave me an idea: construct a syllabus. Then, I can study certain areas more intensively and then, ONLY then, conquer the program.

Well,

hopefully.

I have just been angry with Laurenation; she doesn't study, she lies to herself, and always starts things she doesn't finish.

No more.

matter of fact

I went to comment moderation and i realized I have 6 total.

Loser.

wow, like, you totally inspire.

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live."- Norman Cousins

I was naturally a loner, content just to live with a woman, eat with her, sleep with her, walk down the street with her. I didn't want conversation, or to go anywhere except the racetrack or the boxing matches. I didn't understand t.v. I felt foolish paying money to go into a movie theatre and sit with other people to share their emotions. Parties sickened me. I hated the game-playing, the dirty play, the flirting, the amateur drunks, the bores."
-charles bukowski

Never again will you be capable of ordinary human feeling. Everything will be dead inside you. Never again will you be capable of love, or friendship, or joy of living, or laughter, or curiosity, or courage, or integrity. You will be hollow. We shall squeeze you empty and then we shall fill you with ourselves."
-george orwell, 1984

I swear, by my life and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.
-Ayn Rand

Develop an interest in life as you see it; the people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself.

-Henry Miller

it's like this, and uh like this, uh...

I took my pro tools class. Basically two 8 hours days of lecture. I bitched on my survey. Also bought a 110 level (level 2) book and I am hoping to purchase the program with the ed discount. A lot of frustration all around. Don't feel like writing, yet I have so much to say.

Meh.

What is the deal son?

Is it just me, or does Tommy Lee Jones say "son" at least once in almost every one of his movies?

Hemorroids are like lil road blocks

Audio editing.

I think that's what I want to do. Being at my Avid class the other day, it sort of hit me. It's an area that I have always wanted to dabble in.


So, I'm thinking a Pro Tools class at Video Symphony in Feb.

I've been getting along for long before you came into the play

...the bullshit in my soul has ceased; he no longer wins a place in my gray matter. the swirl of forget-about-its and why-does-it-matters have settled in. journal readings and cruel messages matter nothing to me.

internally, i can honestly say i am at peace.

externally; I need a haircut.

How i am not myself!

Unraveling at a fast pace, thinking maybe I should gather my things and move on, but another portion of my grey matter unfurls in a dangerous direction which I cannot see or really smell, and that is what is the achilles of me is that I require a scent of defeat after I realize that I am an extradorinary machine, but really, all that I really, really, desire is a hug from a human that can recite my my last five adventures without flinching.
True loneliness only elipses sadness, because alot of people think that if you are lonely, well, then you must be sad; to be verdad, I am a lonely person, but not a sad one. I always feel that I am missing out on something, somewhere, or perhaps there is a being that I could be interacting with and not feel like I am perpetually annoying them.

…the lifeform that occupied a part of my life didn't really know me, and he never hid it well.

When you've been co-habitating for six years.

Life is about growth, which is wonderful, though not always easy. Indeed, many of lifes lessons can be painful or difficult. Yet, such challenges are often the ones that present the most opportunity for spiritual growth. Initiations for growth come in many forms. In fact, we can view every challenge in life as an opportunity to learn and grow. While these disruptions in life are not easy, they are necessary. The challenges the universe sends us can seem unbearable at times: a job we dont want to spend another day at, a broken heart that feels as if it will never heal, or a long and painful illness. And then, there are the challenges that can be just as scary because we are being called to step up to the plate in ways that we may think we are not yet ready for: overcoming our fears in order to realize a lifelong dream, leaving behind a situation or people in our life that we may have outgrown, or moving across the world for our dream job or life partner. At such times, it can feel as if the world is testing us and that life is asking more of us than we think we can give. We may feel uncomfortable, frightened, and unsure of what to do. However, life isnt so much going against us as it is encouraging us to grow. During these periods, we can grow stronger by putting one foot in front of the other, as we work through our challenges. We may be asked to let go of old safety measures, shift old patterns of behavior, or step into the abyss of the unknown. When we do rise to the occasion, we end up better off for having made that journey. Not only do we end up learning and growing, but we inevitably become more compassionate to the challenges of others and wiser in the ways of the world. Our faith in the universe also grows because, ultimately, we cant help but realize how much we are supported and taken care of at all times. When we are in the midst of a growing period, it is not easy to see our reward, but it is there, waiting for us to grow big enough to reach it....the dailyom.com

I love me some twins...

GEMINI - LEO : Noble generous Leo will be a toy in the hands of Gemini – and will be pleased with it! Gemini are clever and diverse in a sexual game, and Leo will be admired by the behavior of his partner. Leo will let Gemini go their own way. This partnership is ideal. Liaison will be splendid and admirable; a more durable relationship is quite probable

But, my bags aren't packed yet!

Sick of not sleeping in my own bed, dealing with bullshit that I just want to be done with. Seth has realized (finally) why I broke it off. He took me for granted for all these years, and I did all the work to keep us together. I felt like a mom. The drain from being with him was finally getting to me. When I went back home for a celebration, my friend Isaac drunkenly told me that it was good that i broke up with him because I sounded so unhappy when we were in south america. i knew he had a point; no matter if it was an intoxicated mess of one or not.

urban dictionary 1, laurenation, 0

2. Man Child

A man child is a male who is over the age of 25, who still lives as though he is a juvenile. Many man-children are not gainfully employed, and survive off of the financial support of their enabling parents. Heavy video-game addiction to fantasy games such as World of Warcraft are key to the man-child.

Isn't this familiar?

I finally broke up with Seth last month. It was a long time coming; but it was most definitely coming. I really didn't think I would actually do it, but living in misery wasn't working for me. He is moving back to MN, much to his dismay. I asked him why he doesn't just get a second job and a roommate, but he wants to do this on his own terms.

As for me, I am looking very, very proactively for my on place to start over in. I am looking all over L.A., hoping to stay under 800. But who knows, I need to get something before January. Albeit, I am a little too close to buying a pack of smokes.

Frickfrack.

My part time love

5 days a week, I walk this lovely being by the name of Nelson. There is only a 30 minute obligation-but the time flies a little too fast for me, and before I know it an hour has passed. Nelson enjoys a good belly rub, and a gnarly chew on my pants. I don't really appreciate the latter.



... don't even try it.

Apologizing for the lackluster

Yeah, I know what I said.

There will be pictures, with said blog, coming soon. With Jill passing, programs to learn, and booking trips to hometown for commitment ceremonies there hasn't been much time left for bonding with blogger.

I will say that previously mentioned events are clearing up-and I promise you that I will entertain. My eyes are leaning towards an excellent cupcake recipe that will be made in your honor.

Seriously,

Laurenation

Good bye to a beautiful spirit

Underwater Adventures will never be the same without you Jill. I hope you are surrounded by tree frogs and turtles and other lovely creatures where ever you are. It still feels too surreal; when I first heard the news of your passing, it felt like a practical joke. I can't go home to pay my respects, but please know this-you always made me feel like I was pretty damn awesome.

And I hope that feeling was mutual.

Admitting to infidelity never felt so disgraceful

Blogger, I have a horrible confession. And it involves you. And me. And Tumblr.

Yes, Tumblr.

Blogger, I'm sorry, but I just found someone a little more dazzling. It's sort of like the first time you crap your pants as an adult and it's such a disgusting moment, but you realize how zany it is and call most of your contacts in your phone book just to laugh about your neonate tendancies.


You know, right?


Please, no drama. You know maybe if you weren't so droll I wouldn't be inclined to seek out more exciting options. I don't know, maybe get a different interface every now and then? We can stay together if you can handle me eating someone else's tater tot casserole.

But didn't you have some clue? The empty promise of South America pictures, bunny museum adventures, or me baking cookies?

But don't worry Blogger, I will be back for bedtime-but don't expect me to tuck you in.