I'm glad that I work all weekend

Happy St. Patrick's Day one and all! Unfortunately for me I have to work all weekend long. Tomorrow I am back at work at 6:45am, work until 3pm, then come back for the exhilarating midnight till 8am shift. I don't know how I became so fortunate with these top rate hours. Luckily I will have plenty of time for relaxation and debachery on the 3rd shift. Maybe I will look up more Hasselhoff photos to um, enjoy during the long lonely hours...

Holy great wall of onion domes!

Lately I have been toying with the idea of going on the Trans-Siberian express. I mostly conjure up odd looks from co-workers when I mention it; why would I want to go through Siberia? Well friends, if you take a look at the map below it actually goes through a small slice of Siberia. You pass Lake Baikal, the Great Wall of China, prehaps go into Mongolia. There's this amazing list of stops to choose from. If you start out in Moscow, you can (should) stay there for a night or so to explore. I would go to Lenin's Mausleum in Red Square first but I suppose that's just my preference. Then you hop on the train for a few days then you can switch to the Trans-Manchurian express to go through Mongolia, stay a night, then go to China. Hang out in Beijing for a day or two then fly home. I'm going to do it.

Cheese Pizza is outta the closet.

I am a Vegetarian. I do not expect people to accommodate me when it comes to my diet and I do not accommodate them. I'm relatively easy (I do have my picky moments: ask my sister) when I go out, or at work and at functions. I generally scrape together something and not complain. Too much.
At work one time the talent ordered pizzas for everybody. Now, when this happens there is always that attempt to please everybody. I enjoy that and I usually eat cheese. Plain ole cheese pizza, no veggies. (Sometimes assumed that I eat veggie pizza and to be honest I can't stand the stuff. Unless it was just onions. MMmmm...) My co-worker and I were both vegetarian so we assumed that there would be plenty left amidst the sea of meat lovers.
Well, imagine my shock when I went for pizza and there were two slices left. Un-fucking-believable. Glanced over at other unrustled boxes, only a couple 'o slices missing from the supreme and the sausage. Same deal with the other meaty ones. Now, if I do recall, 20 minutes prior when everyone was shouting out orders, I along with my meatless comrade were mocked for not wanting "Delicious Meaty Meat Pizza" and just couldn't believe our dissent against the meaty pizza gods. I peek into the boxes again, yup, two slices.
Apparently there were more dissenters in our midst but refused to confess to the pillaged pizza. Why didn't they speak up? You know you can be inconspicuous about it if you say you just like cheese. But that's just too hard, I think that they didn't want to be outed. At our expense. And I was really hungry that day too.

More pictures from the Lions Den.

clouds made of chili cheese dogs

Dear Kirby, I know and understand that you apparently changed and influenced a lot of young people's lives. Growing up my stepbrother Tony would envy you and boast that one day he would become you. I, never a sports fan, really couldn't of cared less. I always thought you to be overweight and slightly cartoonish. But nevertheless, you charmed the good folk of Minnesota. As you got older, you lost your sight and decided that being a wife beater would be an excellent alternative to being a world series baseballer. Kirby, it was not you wife's fault for your grotesque weight gain or your newfound blindness. Maybe if you didn't eat so many chili cheese dogs you wouldn't have had a stroke.
Nothing personal Kirb, but now that my current employment has me surrounded in sports, your death has caused quite the brouhaha. The local news has people re-accounting their run-ins with you, "What a normal guy...he loved children..blah." I now have to deal with your death on a consistent basis until the good people are sick of it. Which I hope happens real soon.

Interesting

This is where the Gerbils are hiding out, an inside source reported.

Anybody?

You filthy swine! I know what you have done with my brain and now you sit, laugh and are merry whilst I drool unmenacingly all over my sunday's best! You are heartless, cruel and sort of have a pleasant appearance to you. But wait! I am not complimenting you, only insisting that you have the up most guilt for my condition. Damn you, gerbils, Damn you to hell.

Mongoloids?

Dear faithful reader,

I am not who you think I am. A small troupe of husky tap dancing gerbils have stolen my cerebrum for who knows and I am now relegated to a wheelchair, drooling all over myself. Which at times has been comforting.
My caretaker has left me in the middle of a playground, which I have likened to a battle field. Mongoloid, the children point and shout; I have never felt so sub-human. Perhaps when those dastardly rodents return my brain (I have not yet given up hope) I will stop making fun of the retards.

This is it

I finally got my own blog. I have always dreamed of this moment, typing my illustrious fantasties. Yeah, fantasties. I am at work, doing nothing but watching college basketball. Glamorous? I know.

what? Sponges can be gay??

You would think I meant happy. The right has once again christened another cartoon character gay. I guess spongebob just shouldn't be holding hands with that bad influence, the starfish patrick. Because you know how bad it is to have a cartoon show with the main message of tolerance and acceptance.

"Spongebob is one of one hundred children’s characters, including Big Bird, Barney, and Winnie the Pooh, featured in a video titled “We Are Family” (based on the 1970s disco hit of that name) to be released in March by the We Are Family Foundation. Separate from the video, the foundation promotes a “tolerance pledge,” encouraging kids to accept all people regardless of their race, religion, ethnic background and sexual identity. Sexual identity is what inspired Dobson to see a homosexual conspiracy. In a statement to the magazine Christianity Today, his organization explains that “Dr. Dobson is concerned that these popular animated personalities are being exploited by an organization that's determined to promote the acceptance of homosexuality among our nation's youth.” The idea of tolerance is OK, Dr. Dobson seems to imply, as long as it does not include people whose way of life he does not like." (Common Dreams.org)

I couldn't stop my eyes from rolling back into my head. Sometimes it's hard to believe that other people think this way.