Cosmo means asshole in ancient language

My sweet red-eared slider turtle likes to phuk up her tank right after I arrange it so she can climb up and sunbathe.

Jerk.

Unborn...sort of wished it stayed that way.

Watched a really terrible movie last night; if you can believe it, worse than Day of the Dead remake.

No joke, really.

The Unborn.

For the love of the unborn, don't see it. The plot, is just. plain. awful.

Dreadful, really.

The whole thing starts because she was pregnant with twins. (sorr-no, you know what? I'm not apologizing for giving away the ending because A. you will thank me later B. Wiki always gives it away)

Seriously.

Enough with the creepy child crap. Children already scare me; I need no more reasons to run away from them.

Abusing the semi-colon was on my To-do list

I got my grade back for my project, and it was I guess what I was expecting. A part of me was sad; all the hours I put into the lame thing, and it was pretty much me not obsessing about the right parts.

Oh well, I guess.

In unrelated news, a couch purchase was made. Totally rad. I am way too pumped for this new piece of furniture. Especially all the naps I'm gonna take. Boy and I are doing really well. It feels surreal that things are going so fabu. Two friends of mine that have been single fo' evah are meeting decent men and going on great dates: yay! My very special friend's divorce is filed, and as we speak; maybe be completed! Months of misery are now over (I'm hoping anyway)

Ran into one of my fave people in the universe: Ms. Bohanon ('cuz I'm nasty) at the RFD in Santa Monica. She's doing ultra well, and there is a playdate in the near future. She recently moved to Silverlake, and she and her roomie are renting a sweet casa. After the run in, it took forever for my heart to stop racing. It was beyond awesome to see her; being that she is such a good, sweet lady and I miss hangin out with her. One of my favorites in L.A. (on the basis that I am pretty sure we were separated at birth - although a few years part; I attribute that she was put in a refrigerator for a while then taken out for good measure.) Then after the spaztastic reunion, delicious vittles were had. Tempeh meat loaf, steamed veggies, mashed potatoes and gravy, with a Caesar salad, organic beer; and more than perfect company, the evening was complete.

Hmmm...what else?

The love of the Lucite wheel finally brought me to my knees last Thursday. It involved my sister, Glendale, Thai food, and yours truly. Moonlight rollersomething or other is pretty fantastic, and recommended if you love to skate and listen to top 40s music. We were exasperated when we heard "Get into the Groove" by the one and only Madge as we were leaving. I try to always request some 80s goodness at the roller rink, and we were not able to this time. Although "thriller" was played. There was also some bad dancing, singing, and some older folks hot doggin' on the plywood as well.

Also, met up with (finally) this sweet lady that goes by the name of Lisa a few weeks ago. Excellent time, except for some douche bags. Hopefully will get to see her lovely and intelligent mug again soon.

<3

It's just me and you, Pro Tools.

I have been taking a sound design class as of late, and I absolutely adore it. I never knew I have such a fervor for creating sonic environments. I mean, when I go to class, I have never felt so jazzed before in my life. Even when I was talking Avid classes. Actually, I should thank them for turning me on to post audio. I realized how bored I was doing video, then audio came along, the little whore she is, and invited herself into my life. And I hope I never get listless; because I think my passion has been found.

On to my story...I have been working on my mid term for the last 3 weeks. I had to re-record the audio, because it was entirely crappy. (and I am a ridiculous perfectionist that will not sit on useless drivel) I finally got it to where I like it and it's usable. Luckily, my co worker is handy and told me about a plug-in for adjusting the volume. I am lame and recorded it a tad low.

Now, it's finally due on Saturday morning at 9am sharp. I feel like it is pretty done a this point, but I am thinking I will have the boy give it a final listen, and maybe I will tool around with the sound effects a tad more. (er- plug-ins)

Alright, s'pose I should get back to it.

One fine day in L.A.

If Ito did it, so should you!

College students are dirrtty.

Bath tub friends

Cleaning my bathtub, I came across this fellah. Or, should I say, lady? I'm thinking it was a female mosquito, a rarity in L.A. It seemed to be getting along fine with the cucharachas. I'm thinking they were going to make her their queen?

Too many apologies

I'm moving and have not been able to write...will do so once I have my brain in order.


Miss you,

Laurenation

personal cakes done right.

Cupcakes Central is my new digs when it comes to the personal sized sweet. I hear all too many complain about the "outrageous" price that these delectable cakes come with. My favorite is: well, I can just buy the cake mix and frosting for $3, and have 12 instead of one...really? Then why don't you?

Stop wasting time reviewing a place that doesn't really have much intrigue to you. Personally, I do not mind paying $3.50 a pop for one. Why? Because if they are done right, they are done RIGHT.

The above mentioned, Strawberry shortcake, is so fucking brilliant. Strawberries chopped up in the frosting, a delicate white cake, plus an injection of cream and chopped 'berries in the middle.

Seriously.

So, if you can do that all at home for $3, and have that many, can I come over?

Fluff kitteh

a red velvet cake I made for a friend's bday

I don't even know.

Someone feels left out

See, I kept my promise.

More kittehs!

Living in my obdulla oblongata is better than reality.

I decided today that my closet needed a ferocious cleaning and organising. I know that the roaches have been co-habitating there, and since their favorite kitchen spots were no more, my closet provided the ultimate in nesting.

Upon entering, I was greeted by a delightful momma roach. She welcomed me in to the squalor, hung my hat and offered me a cup of joe. I delined. Should probably have been a tad nicer, but I had items to tend to. She prattled on and on about how many times she has moved in the past few hours because no where is safe anymore. I took a step in and noticed the sack of puppies on her back. Her children needed to be able to play and be kids with out worrying. I told her all would be taken care of. Her pinpoint eyes and antennae twitched with curiousity and delight. So many questions she had for me. Ignoring her rampant inquisitions, my hands made good of the distraction and grabbed what could be the solution for mama roaches everywhere.

Drawing each breath lightly, I delivered on my promise. Her tiny antennaes curled as her legs buckled underneath her flightless body. Her wing softened the fall as her last words were heard.

"Lemons were always my favorite."

After we go to Intelligentsia, let's rob a bank.

Went to Intelligentsia the other day, and ordered what I thought to be a a normal, delicious espresso. It came with a glass of sparking water, which was an excellent addition.

Beautiful crema, perfect taste. Just what I expected.

What I didn't expect, a couple hours later was the intense surge of anxiety, nausea, and adrenalin that appeared at my doorstep. A friend of mine and I were perusing some shops that were in the area, and I just couldn't handle it. And not because I was in Silver lake. We went to Flore, a vegan place that served a marvelous BLT constructed of tempeh, avocado, and the rest of the fixings. I was hoping it would ale me of the horrible over-caffination, but I still felt a little off.

I was expected at a house warming, and I could not muster any control over my bowels. I came close to releasing a present to my panties if there wasn't a restroom near by. Luckily, by the sheer will of my sphincter, it held on til it wasn't required to any further. Poor bastards in line behind me though.

I think I flushed it enough times to evacuate the stench. Let's hope anyways.

eek.

AAhhhhhhhhhHHHHH!!!!!!

The roaches are throwing a coup d'etat!!!

I just killed 8, one inch beasts!!

One even had a sack of puppies on her back!!

EEEEeeeek!!!

Me.

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?""Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.""Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit."Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.""Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?""It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." - Margery Williams, THE VELVETEEN RABBIT

Daily affirmations...selected quotes by Pema Chodron

We habitually erect a barrier called blame that keeps us from communicating genuinely with others, and we fortify it with our concepts of who's right and who's wrong. We do that with the people who are closest to us and we do it with political systems, with all kinds of things that we don't like about our associates or our society. It is a very common, ancient, well-perfected device for trying to feel better. Blame others. Blaming is a way to protect your heart, trying to protect what is soft and open and tender in yourself. Rather than own that pain, we scramble to find some comfortable ground

A further sign of health is that we don't become undone by fear and trembling, but we take it as a message that it's time to stop struggling and look directly at what's threatening us

If you follow your heart, you're going to find that it is often extremely inconvenient.

When we start out on a spiritual path we often have ideals we think we’re supposed to live up to. We feel we’re supposed to be better than we are in some way. But with this practice you take yourself completely as you are. Then ironically, taking in pain – breathing it in for yourself and all others in the same boat as you are – heightens your awareness of exactly where you’re stuck.

If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher

Work follies

San Diego

Rad Jose is sleepy

this may induce vomit

I have a roach problem. Ever since I moved in to 12745, I have had these lovely insects all over my house. Luckily, I came up with a plan that is working...slowly, but working.

Maurice is at it again.

...comes in and thinks he owns the place.

Mom feeding the orphans

Day in the life of Chevy

Minnie needs her space

My once and always obsession

Diane Arbus.




I adore her work, so I thought I would do a short post in tribute.

My friend Emilie and I adore her, we caught her exhibit at the Walker back in 2006, I believe.

finicky felines make for good side dishes

My sweet, dear mother runs a foster care for kittens and mama cats that are about to give birth. She does it for a no-kill organization in Minnesota called "Last Hope", and she has basically re-organized her life to care for the orphan kittehs.

When I go home, I sort of (read: REALLY, REALLY, EXCITED!!!!) get pumped to sleep over at mom's house because I wake up swathed in felines. It's really the best ever.

Anyways, I am thinking of posting all of the kitty pics my mom sends me via picture messages. They border on arcane, but I really appreciate being sent pictures of little Felis domesticuses.

And, whatever they find in their live trap. (skunks, raccoons, stray troubled cats)

RIP Elliott Smith

Cavities and crowns = good times

Watch out, you may be getting this.

Unfortunately, there's no bacon tux, but the box is pretty funny. I think I would be one of the people that would be upset upon opening to find not a tux but some other gift.

Bring on the bacon! tux...

Grabbing my ankles isn't too bad

Ah...Los Angeles.

City of (broken) dreams, palm trees, health food, and business tax.

Yep.

I'm sure most cities do, but it's the first time I have been afflicted with it. I work a few freelance gigs, and now I have to pay up to City Hall. My boy and I went down to the Van Nuys City Hall, and all they did was give me waiver to clear the penalities. Not to say that i am not grateful for not having to pay the extra, but you know. Paying nothing would've been nice. (insert winky face here)

But, I am happy; albeit broke.

Mom, I'm home!

I have finally given in. There's menus in the works, and yours truly is going from inventor of micro nations to cooker of quasi-gourmet meals.

It's quite the transition, I'm sure.

Maybe some samosa0-filled potatoes?

Post-depression photo op

It took this with photo booth shortly after I received an email from my ex stating that he was in a bad mental state (putting it lightly and keeping it short), and he used all money for the hospital and for a new phone- making me pay all the rent for the month. (and somehow he got to stay there rent free until he moved back, and I'M the bad guy? Not to mention he had insurance, so he didn't have to pay out of pocket...which makes me believe that there are some loose ends in that story...)

Continuing on, I was very upset and called my parents, and a couple good friends to tell them what he had done to me. And after many cigarettes and tears, I took this photo before I was promptly kicked out of the coffee shop where I was dwelling.

More random shots of the large apple

Top of the Empire state, this pigeon has the most ideal view. He also was being harrassed by Italian tourists; but guess who got the shot?

Random window dressing.

One of many signs at Coachella

I refused to give him my wallet. He took my eggs instead.

I think he's inleagues with the squirrel.

Sweet crema...I miss you so.

How Southern California ice skates.

Random NYC

paperwork...blech

I finally gave in to my need of cleaning and sorting my paperwork. It has been a dreadful journey, one that I took a break from a few minutes ago. I disappeared to Vegan plate and rewarded myself with some chicken satays.

Mmmmm....

So, now that I am back and ready for some action; I decided to let you know of my goings and comings. I still have more pics to post, but I need to slice them up right, and I can't spend too much time on this blasted thing.

One more thing: I did this top 5 things that I want to learn, and one of them I chose "ass kicker". But here's the thing: an image of a prosthetic leg came up and the image said "This is my ass kicking leg" then the rest of it was all, "win an asskicking contest"

Oh man.

Too funny.

Some Coney Island excitement

Just a simple shot of the boardwalk, the rides were all closed. I actually brought my Holga- so just hold on to your fedoras 'cause I actually shot with color this time.
....and, I was eating this corn when this overly friendly fellah came up and stole my cob. He was very antsy about it; almost two stepping perhaps? I thought I did a good deed, but when I saw his graveyard of cobs that would put the Corn Palace to shame, I felt used.

You won this time squirrel.

WashingtonSquareparkistantalizing

One of several enthralling and slightly alluring photos from my excursion to the large pomme.

NYC...again!

I am leaving in mere hours!

...will post pics when I get back!!

Hurray!!

Conspirator.

Oh Chai latte, we had so many happy times together; remember in MPLS when it was a crisp fall evening and I would sip you excitedly. Perhaps a mate was in tow; we would inhale your pumpkin spice goodness in between tobacco filled debates.

That, unfortunately, was ages ago.

Last night before work, I stopped by a chain coffee oasis for a chai and latte. The latter was for me; my coworker is a big fan of the chai. After making nice with the barista, I scooped up the hot bevvies with the thought of handing off the drink to my pal.

Sigh.

I thought we were friends chai; I thought we went waaaay back.

Little less than 2 minutes, chai is makin' itself at home, spillin' every which way without a care or concern. In complete disbelief, I made attempts to clean up the chai party that was happening in my car.

No avail.

My submissive nature made it easier for it; I stacked my latte on top and felt the wrath...

...allll down my arm.

Burning, awful pain; Chai latte, you are a jerk.

after the blast

One of many Holga images.

Someone needs to clean their scanner. Maurice dining in during an unusually long rain.

yay!!

I write reviews for Yelp, which is an oddly guilty pleasure. Telling people what's good and what is terrible is a hobby of mine.
Anyways, Yelp sends out a weekly email about what's good in different parts of L.A. They did one about comic shops in the valley, and they took a snippet of my review for the email! I know this does not seem like a big deal, but I am super elated that they chose mine.

Here's a piece:

"An unpretentious comic shop?" Lauren H raves that's exactly what you'll find at the House of Secrets in Burbank: "You can chat with the owners about your favorite writers and trades... Then they tell you about awesome upcoming events with them. Yea!"

It made me grin.

Oh, Minnesota...

El (vice) presidente de Laurenation

M.I.A. at Coachella...upon seeing her performance, it was decided she was the perfect fit.

Instead of formatting my blogs into list form

my writings of self-importance will be deduced into one-sometimes misspelled-grammatically-incorrect run on sentence.

If Ebola and Swine flu got into a fight, who would win?

Ebola, obviously.

I totally want this hoodie

This hoodie rocks it so hard, it's on herbivore.com and I would like to own it.

the future president of Laurenation

Oh Karen O, you would be so righteous for the head of state. When my nation comes together, I am sending you a note on fancy stationary (hmmm, would puppies be too lame?) and asking (begging) you nicely if you would be my chairman O.

this is an every day activity for me

It really happened! Coachella made my dreams come true!

I really stuck my tongue in Rollins' ear!!

Morrissey....

I love you.

Coachella, 'ella!

Aw man, I'm going to Coachella this weekend!! Really excited to se M.I.A., even tho she is replacing Amy Winehouse. Would've enjoyed seeing her, but whateves. totally pumped about the lineup. And just being there. I have been agonizing over what on earth i am going to wear, but i think I have mastered it. A quick once over the wardrobe is required. My palms are almost sweating over here. But most importantly, I am really excited to be hanging out with my awesome boyfriend for the whole three days. I am meeting his parents for the first time, and I am a tad nervous. Thinking it should be interesting. You'll be the first to hear about it. Overall, excited to spend all day and night at a hot festival enjoying good music with my boy.

San Antonio

Last week I took a few day excursion to the great city of San Antonio, TX. My flight landed at 10pm, then I spent the day with my friend at the air force base, then I took her to my hotel room for a facebook session. She was happy to unwind, then we drove down to Riverwalk for a bit. I was hoping to get a glimpse of the Alamo, since it had been over 10 years when I was last here. But no dice.

one more thing that might make you angry

I joined twitter.

Sorry.

just to let you know.

I didn't buy smokes. I was totally a good girl.

Overheard at the doctor's office.

"...Armenians don't use birth control. they don't. They put it in their plants. I have never met an Armenian that uses it. Sometimes they even put it in their shampoo. Makes your hair really shiny."

Secrets make you feel filthy.

finally released. feeling like my self again, need to get stuff done. rebuilding myself, although lacking self-confidence. explicit insecurity and broken out skin. not depressed because of thursday. just an overall feel. lots of self-loathing. need to knock this off. snuggled with maurice, kitty drool over my hand. rolling over on his back he purred his thanks. came back for my affection, employment rang. kicked him out and fed him my salmon-flavored apologies.

I think that sounds about right.