I remember a time when I welcomed the rapid heartbeat of caffeine. It doesn't seem too long ago, indulging in one espresso after the other. Sweaty palms. Carrying on conversations with soon to be friends. Phone numbers exchanged, empty promises of "next time". having a list of shops where I would have my social hour, while the others were marked as centers of productivity. I loved running into some of the characters, especially when I was feeling lonely or suppressed of creativity. Most times, the fables they told had my jaw grazing the nearby Utne Reader. I could feel my eyes widening, if not for them; but for my own joy at having such outlandish people to listen to. Only silent gestures and murmurs of shock were exchanged while my ears were filled with anecdotes. Being more of a private person, I prefer to hear various accounts from another. Speaking of which, I have heard some of the best while minding that role. Heartbreak, drugs, thievery, and scandal headlined most of the sordid tales. I felt honored that these raconteurs felt comfort with me hearing their stories. Trusting me with their childhood traumas, or just a banal day in the life, I was allowed to see in. When they would leave me to chat someone else up, I would feel relieved initially, then distracted. How am I supposed to write self-indulgently when all I can think about is his home invasion? My drama was considerably tame, and less interesting to say the least. I ended up drawing half-assed female faces, along with short biographies.
One time I was there, writing and drawing in a flurry, a fedora clad fellow sauntered up, and jotted: "music hides you from the bullshit", then went on his way. My mind wrapped around that slogan many times, being cautious due to uncertain intent. Maybe he thought what I was writing was bullshit, which wasn't completely off base. The more I obsessed about it, logic finally entered the room and assured me that he meant well. When I look back, I know my penmanship and aura warranted his mantra. Never would have guessed in that one moment, I would fully appreciate the human condition.
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