Douche bag...Walk away.
"Hey Beautiful. What 'chu up to today"
Hmm. He does have dimples(!) and really great hazel eyes...is that a yellow tooth?
"Are you trashy, or classy gal? I prefer a trashy one, been dealing with a classy cunt for far too long."
That is indeed, a yellow tooth.
"Your eyes, I can't stand how beautiful they are. Blue, not like my crappy hazel ones. I always wanted eyes like yours."
Ok. So he DOES have some piercing hazel eyes. And he kind of dresses like Joseph Gordon-Levitt. In Inception. (Oh, the vests!)
"Yeah, do you speak any other languages? I really dig girls that are worldly."
Considering his English could use 15 more minutes a day on the "Speak and Spell", I don't think he should be interviewing unless he meets his own criteria. But he does wear some tight pants.
"So, like, do you smoke? Would you have any..." I regrettably didn't, then he slid his hand into his pocket. When I squinted and realized he had his own measly cigs, I rescinded the regret.
"Yah, there's not many cute girls around. We should hang out sometime, really see if we connect."
HEY. IT'S YOUR GUT TALKING TO YOU. WHY THE HELL ARE YOU IGNORING ME? I AM TELLING YOU "NO."
A long drag off his cigarette allowed his eyes to shift nervously as they awaited my response.
"I'm really busy with my yoga practice right now, and honestly, I think I like girls."
"I consider it a safe word, because it stirs up warm, comfortable sensations in me from growing up. Especially since cacao grows on trees."
Maintaining my attention was growing difficult, as my mind roamed to a sketch comedy that perused it for that purpose.
"Growing up in Peru, my sister used to pick it and make chocolate covered fingers with it. Yeah, it really puts me in the comfort zone when..."
Oh Peru. I loved that coastal, rocky land. Ceviche, Pisco sours, Alpacas...gosh, I really hope I can visit-
"Deep frying my little brother's cat was also a joyous memory. He would scream, and I would cackle loudly at his misery..."
I felt a set of brown eyes seeking out my reactions, but I gave them none.
Cats. I always wanted one of my very own. But I hated the responsibility that came with ownership. I just wanted one to snuggle and love when I felt like it. I'm a bit of a selfish bastard at times.
My companion, who at this point had it with me and my wandering mind, got up and patted me on the head.
"Hey...hey, where are you going?" I was hoping she would tell me more about her cats. I love cats.